No bites with Marmite

On Saturday, I went to hike in the Greenbelt for the first time.  Before I left, I told the Kiwi Flatmate that I liked the outdoors, but that I don't like bugs.  She suggested that I eat some Marmite before I go.  

The Kiwi Flatmate had Marmite sent to her from New Zealand.

Marmite is a savory spread that New Zealanders and much of the former British empire eat on toast.  Since it has such a strong smell, I thought she meant that rubbing it on me would create an aura that no bugs (and nobody, for that matter) would want to get near.  In fact, I even thought of a cartoon character who must have used Marmite:

Who knew Pig Pen's smell came from Marmite?

Then the Kiwi Flatmate corrected me.  "You don't rub it on your body!  You eat it, and since it has vitamin B in it, it makes your skin give off something the bugs don't like."  Hmmm...I don't know if I'd rather eat Marmite or get bitten by bugs.  I think I'd opt for the latter.

Signed,

American Roomie

Jamerican Accents

We talk a lot about accents at The Red Door.  Mostly because we have very different accents.  As you might have guessed, the Kiwi Flatmate speaks with a distinct New Zealand accent.  The Jamerican and I both talk Amerrrican (i.e. we like those R's).  The Jamerican studies speech pathology and can mimic most accents pretty well.  Her Scottish accent is dead on.  But the curious thing is, she will not (or cannot?) do a Jamaican accent.  Whenever she tries, she freezes up and then bursts into laughter.  

The Jamerican lived in Jamaica until she was 8, so the Kiwi Flatmate and I keep thinking we can get something good out of her.  The best we've gotten so far is for her to share with us some Jamaican proverbs such as, "Wanti wanti cyan getti getti.  Getti getti nuh wanti wanti."  Also, she showed us this video and translated it for us.

Stay tuned because soon we will be having an The Contest of the acCentury in which we all try to do each others accents.  

Signed,

American Roomie

Pen Attack

Never invade a Kiwi's space.  Seriously.  Friday morning, I was laying on the Kiwi Flatmate's bed reading about the latest American Idol elimination (Pia? Really?), when I guess I did something that struck a nerve with the Kiwi Flatmate.  She whipped out a pen out of nowhere and did this to my arm...

My arm after the Kiwi Flatmate's pen attack

I didn't have any idea what I had done to provoke the Kiwi Flatmate, and I wondered if she would attack with her pen again.  I thought about retaliating.  After all, I had brought a sword with me to her room, so I was ready for a duel.  But alas, then I remembered that the pen is mightier than the sword.

Signed,

American Roomie

New Zealand Movies? They do exist.

Last Saturday night, I went out with the Kiwi Flatmate for her first taste of Texas barbecue.  We met some friends and the conversation turned to movies.  From the opposite end of the table, I asked the Kiwi Flatmate, "Do they have movies in New Zealand?"

The table got quiet, as I'm sure everyone was thinking, "Duh, of course they have movies in New Zealand!"  But what I meant was, is there a strong New Zealand film industry?  So I clarified that.

"Yeah, there's the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy," my boyfriend, the 84% Texan, joked.

After the commotion over my poorly worded question died down, the Kiwi Flatmate informed us that yes, they do make lots of movies in New Zealand.  She said that one of the more famous ones is Once Were Warriors which, due to themes of domestic violence and the main character's wardrobe, popularized the use of the term "wifebeater" to refer to a sleeveless men's undershirt.

Upon further research, I found that in addition to Lord of the Rings, other American films such as The Chronicles of Narnia, Bridge to Terabithia, and The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep were all filmed in New Zealand.  What's with all of these fantasy flicks being shot there? Does this mean New Zealand = Fantasy Land?  Maybe Parker Brothers was right after all and New Zealand doesn't really exist?

Signed,

American Roomie

mAptitude Test

The Kiwi Flatmate told me that there's a rumor in New Zealand that most Americans can't locate New Zealand on a map.  What?!  This is a huge problem!  What do I think of this?  I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some...people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and...wait...that was someone else's response.  In all seriousness though, I think I've identified the root of the problem:  Risk.  Let me explain.

The Kiwi Flatmate, the Jamerican, and I host a bi-monthly game of Risk at The Red Door.  Here is a picture of the board that comes with our 1993 version of the game:

Notice anything funny?

Look a little closer.

That's right!  There's no New Zealand!  No wonder Americans can't find it!  Any kid who grew up playing Risk wouldn't even know to look for it.  Of course, they'll also think there are only 4 countries in South America, but I digress.  It looks like the quest for world domination started with a game designer nuking New Zealand.

Signed,

American Roomie

Drop Bears vs. Snipe Hunting

Now that the Kiwi Flatmate has warned me that she might act strange in order to trick me into believing silly things about her motherland, I'll have to be more careful with what I post here.  In fact, I'll use Flight of the Conchords to help me verify any facts about New Zealand. 

With that said, I won't be fooled into believing in Drop Bears, which evidently are  giant, vicious koala-like animals that fall on you and eat you alive if you go camping in Australia.  

The Drop Bear attacks its prey from above.

I think I'll get the upper hand by taking the Kiwi Flatmate snipe hunting!

Signed,

American Roomie

The Kiwi Flatmate Speaks

So American Roomie started a blog in my hono(u)r. That's kind of cool. Or, American Roomie finds my habits so odd she thinks the internet will find them amusing. That's less cool. Or maybe not.


When American Roomie showed me this blog, I was a little concerned that I might misrepresent my country. Now, I'm tempted to behave strangely to take advantage of how little American Roomie knows about New Zealand (The Jamerican would probably never fall for it). If only there was a NZ equivalent of a Drop Bear.


Signed,
Kiwi Flatmate